300 Pounds of Attitude

Below is an extract from the chapter on NFL Scouting in the 2006 publication
300 Pounds of Attitude by Jonathan Rand.
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"We try to draw pictures for our coaches," explains Chuck Cook, Kansas
City director of college scouting. "You try to have a sense of humor and it
comes on draft day."

ON PHYSICAL APPEARANCE

• Looks like Tarzan, plays like Jane.
• So skinny, he has to jump around in the shower to get wet.
• Has such a bad body, he's like a walking water bed.
• So fat he takes two loads to haul ass.
• So small he could run under a table at full speed.

ON RUNNING ABILITY

• Can run the minute in 58 seconds.
• So quick he can spit on lightning.
• Quicker than a hiccup.
• He's like trying to catch a minnow in Lake Michigan
• So quick you couldn't hit him with a handful of rocks.
• So clumsy in space, he's like a cow on ice.

SOURCE: 300 Pounds of Attitude by Jonathan Rand,
The Lyons Press, 2006
ISBN-13: 978-1-59228-995
ISBN-10: 1-59228-995-9

Chapter 57, Looks Like Tarzan, Plays Like Jane:
Scouting